Saturday, October 21, 2023

Musings: A degree of separation...and Forgiveness

 



It has been years since my abrupt departure from the dysfunctional 

religious group I was a part of but the sting still can be recalled and the 

feeling re-traced and experienced. They call it post traumatic stress 

syndrome but the nightmare can be replayed at any time in crystal clear 

accuracy. They say that that is an earmark fo PTS and I believe it. 

The feelings of helplessness, shock of the loss, the embarrassment

 to peers, the guilt of failure. The kind you  feel in the pit of your stomach. 

The terror of an uncertain future. Those are memories now for me and 

thank God distant memories. 


Update on the group: 


I heard that a leader was let go under similar circumstances and the 

Episodes are re-lived, recalled and replayed. Frankly, the ambiguous

 terms of the accusations: The subjective nature of them: “He wasn’t

 equipping leadership adequately on leading the flock..” And  “He was 

not moving the church forward….” Have no teeth but the final nail was 

the accusation of Financial  mis-appropriation of funds (over 40 of them) 

mistakenly taken at face value by a naive flock


 Well now. 


I am no supporter of any leadership in this group given their vicious

nature and rapaciousness but I would counter with ‘show it to me’ 

These are all trump cards meant to deceive and smoke-screen the

 real motive. As for me, I would not trust any accusation farther 

than I could throw it with the accusers. I would say “prove in a court

 of law”. Funny thing is, is that the leadership that gained control

 over the ministry knew all about the financial mis-dealings way-before 

and failed to warn the perpetrator of such deeds. This shows their true 

motive- masters of deceit. They also know that they would be implicated 

along with the perpetrator should things come to light. So they bided their 

time and logged them and documented them. There is no question about

 that. The treasurer of the ministry didn’t stumble upon the 40 counts. 

Either they are incompetent or not forthcoming and fair.


Hmmmm....


I would like to know how far back these account of the 40 misdeeds go. That

would indicate the planning and plotting for a hostile confrontation. This 

smacks of the worldliness and dirty tricks of the corporate world.   Those

that participated in the takeover are just as guilty as the perpetrator 

and so  in a court of law just as liable-a sin of omission—and all this was 

done under the guise of godliness and protection of the flock!!


…what a crock. 


No , all parties are not  Innocent except for the flock they are to be

 pitied under such brutal leadership. 


I for one feel empathy for the fallen leader. I know what he is going

 through and pray for him. I have forgiven him for his part in my 

personal dismissal. The same words must be ringing in his ears. 

The intimidation he must have felt. The merciless deadline looming

over his head the threat of embarrassing potential legal action 

threatened. Who could think clearly under a tight deadline. He did

 what he could only could have done. Panicked and reacted. He 

played right into the hands of his predators. If only he could have 

stood up to them in time. If only I could have doneso. If only. 


That’’s what haunts you over the years as you replay the events in your mind. 

seeking a different outcome. 


I offer a prayer “Lord, help my brother through it. Give him mercy,

 forgive him. Apparently You see value in him to save him from 

the group as you did me. I count it a mercy and grace being pulled 

from the lion’s mouth. Although there is little left of me, You still saw

 fit to save what You could and I thank You…Lord, help him to

 recover from this devastating loss and give Him peace eventually…

I know it will take years for that to happen and the nights he will 

face alone and in the dark terrified but let him know You are

 there and You have committed to face it with him...Lord I 

pray that you allow him the grace to forgive his enemies as 

you have me..and his heart-ache is redeemed with repentance

Shore him up Lord and be with him.”


I offer this: if he needs anything he simply has to contact me. 

(the numbers on the blog snd so is my email). He will receive 

an open ear and an open heart and I will come to his aid. 

I know that he was brutal when I knew him and I would bet 

he is not now. What he is going though is life-altering and 

humbling and it is God’s wisdom and grace that has planned 

and executed this to save him from himself. 


I forgive them all for what they continue to do. They know nothing

 else but intrigue, deception while their feet run to evil. John F. 

Kennedy once said “Forgive your enemies but do not forget

their names…? Well said.    


It is said that time heals all wounds, I am not sure of that but

 I do know the Lord will meet you in your pain and heart-ache. 

You see, He can empathize too. He was rejected by His own 

people. Have I changed? Profoundly. No one can go under

such and not be changed by it. But I do see God’s mercy in 

breaking my bones as a shepherd does an errant sheep so

that He may hold it close and nurture it never to stray again. 

God’s mercy is in the longrun. May he have the sight too see it.

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